Taken from the online version of the EMC
linkMurphy's Law rears its large head during vehicle stops
Posted Jul 30, 2009
By Brian Turner
Several e-mails came across my e-desk this week that proved my own version of Murphy's Law, just when you thought bureaucrats couldn't get any worse, they do. On July 15 a group of car enthusiasts driving those iconic heartthrob Corvettes were on a local tour of the St. Lawrence Seaway near Brockville when lo and behold they came upon a group of police cruisers pulling over autos in what looked like a R.I.D.E. program.
But it turned out one of those cruisers belonged to the Ontario Ministry of the Environment and instead of looking for tipsy drivers, the police and the MOE officials were on the hunt for emission violators. Were they performing breathalyzer tests on tailpipes? No, the MOE cop was lifting the hoods of vehicles and peering under the chassis' and referring to an official looking manual and directing the police to hand out tickets in the amount of $365 for anyone with a vehicle that had any part of its original emission control system removed or modified with no regard to whether or not such modifications were causing emission problems. These same pollution police have been reported at local car show and shines and cruise nights performing similar persecutions. While I have always been a big supporter of improving our road-side environment, these pencil necks are picking on the wrong crowd!
Anyone who knows even a miniscule amount of anything about classic car owners, restorers and hot-rod enthusiasts knows for the most part these vehicles only operate for a few kilometers each week for about eight or 10 weeks a year (some only travel the road on trailers).
With little exception their owners keep them in top condition both mechanically and appearance-wise and if anyone did bother to do an exhaust gas analysis on these chromed wonders they would find them emitting at or below what they were originally designed to do when they rolled off the assembly line. So as a rule their collective emissions don't even create a microscopic blip on the environmental radar. Many of these cars no longer have the original engine as their owners invest heavily to improve reliability and performance with better designs and engineering.
At this point e-mails between motor-heads are flying and chat room forums are buzzing with this news and it seems that many classic owners won't be travelling to cruise nights or car shows in Eastern Ontario for the rest of the season for fear of the MOE squad, and that's a real shame. These events sponsor a variety of charities in our area, not to mention boosting tourism and the local economy as well as providing a welcome reminder of days of youth and simpler times and do so in an environmentally responsible manner. I did take the time to contact a media rep from the MOE who simply regurgitated the policy lines about enforcement and responsibility but couldn't provide any justification of their actions in terms of greenhouse gases removed, or serious criminals brought to justice.
What is entirely gob smacking about all this is that the new Drive Clean emission test legislation exempts a vehicle from bi-annual tests if it is classified as a 'hot-rod' due to the installation of an engine that wasn't offered by the auto maker for that particular year and model. So if I went out and bought a 1996 Mustang and replaced the original V6 engine with a big block V8 from, say, 1959, I could merrily cruise the roads 365 days a year and pollute to my heart's content as long as my new power-plant had all the emission controls that it came with in 1959, or in other words, nothing. But if a fuel sipping Mazda Miata owner swapped his or her original air breather for a cold air intake system (which improves combustion and lowers emissions) they'd be subject to a fine from the MOE.
And just to add the icing to the cake on this story, one of our hapless Corvette owners who got caught in the sting in Brockville noted that for the entire 45 minutes they were waiting to be processed, the MOE cruiser with its V8 engine, was idling merrily along burning gas and going nowhere and as anyone in the auto industry will tell you, no vehicle when idling has an emission system in operation. I wonder if that pencil-neck wrote himself a ticket?
If you've got an opinion on this please let me know and I'll forward it off to the MOE.
In the mean time if you want to see some of the best built and restored classics before they hit the endangered list check out the AutoMotion Car Show at Block Island in Brockville on Sunday, Aug. 2 (who knows maybe the MOE will show up and you'll have a chance to personally give them your opinion). And on Tuesday, Aug. 4, the British will invade Kanata's Hazeldean Mall Cruise Night with the arrival of the Ottawa Jaguar Club.
If you have any questions, opinions, or stories on anything automotive please drop me a line, (By email to
emc@perfprint.ca listing 'Question for the Car Counselor' on the subject line or by post to Record News Communications, 5 Lorne St., P.O. Box 158, Smiths Falls, Ont. K7A 4T1).
Yours in Service,
Brian Turner
Author